TERPS

21 Feb 10

TERPS

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.  Romans 8:26-27 (NIV)

I do not speak Arabic.  We had some DLI (Defense Language Institute) guys come to Fort Stewart and try to give us a 2 week indoctrination to Arabic, but for many reasons (if you know Army officers on TDY, you can use your imagination) it was not successful in making us fluent.  Actually, the best teachers were NOT the experts.  It was fellow officers who did not know Arabic but who had learned the key phrases and kind gestures from previous deployments necessary to function as an emissary to a foreign military force.  Practical stuff.  Stuff to get you through a meeting.  Words to convey your respect and sincerity.  Real-life, practical man-to-man communication driven by looking the other guy in the eye and shaking his hand knowing that you both understand each other and will follow through on your promises.  Guys who had walked the ground and experienced diplomacy first-hand—who had lived it—were the real teachers.

When you arrive in country as a senior combat advisor, you are given interpreters.  We started with 26 and pared it down to 4, so we were able to pick the best of the best.  I rely 100% on my interpreter and de facto cultural advisor(s).  We lovingly refer to them as “TERPS” for short. 

I could point to strong points for all of them.  We have three LN (local national) TERPS.  Nick is strong verbally, but a bit gentle for some of the business we have to do—but because of his demeanor, he is liked and often can diffuse or influence a situation.  Thomas has a strong personality.  He has a goatee and also has a bit of a belly, so when he is standing around in his civilian clothes (usually some sort of slacks and a nice sweater) he looks like he might be in charge.  That’s why we call him “the governor.”  While funny and easy going, he is aggressive and does not back down—all on our behalf.  We use him when things need to be emphasized.  Donnie is the young, skinny, athletic one.  He has a sharp mind, is bright eyed and always enthusiastic, and has very good language skills, but his forte is with the shurta (Border Police soldiers).  He can speak their street language and play their sports with them—he’s got the cool and popular kid from high school aura.  We use him to teach self-defense classes or physical training.

But, there’s one who stands out among the rest.  His name is Jake.  He is a Christian from east of Mosul—he comes from a town with a church that is one of the oldest on-going church communities in the entire world.  He is a college graduate from the University of Mosul and a mechanical engineer.  He lives in the States on a permanent basis and is about 18 months from his full citizenship.  He is a direct DoD hire with pay status as an Army CPT or MAJ.  We use him during delicate talks that need precision.  We use him when high level officials need to feel like they are talking to someone on their social level.  He is a true professional interpreter who often sits back at high level meetings and constructively gives input to misinterpretations from other TERPS in order for the complete, accurate message to be conveyed to the parties.  For the purpose of clarity, I have noticed that Jake often will take my words and speak much longer than I spoke because he is doing the job of the human intercessor taking input from me, understanding my intent, giving it the meaning I am trying to convey in Arabic, and passing on the necessary message rather than the identical words. 

Jake does not like me to give him short phrases because he wants to know where I am going before he begins his interpretation.  We American officers/officials always try to talk in a sentence or two and pause, but Jake will motion to keep going.  Often, Jake will interpret my message and then do a little back-and-forth with the Iraqi officer before stopping to interpret back into English.  He gives my message, hears the answer, clarifies the issues, then will turn to me and say, “Ok, he’s saying…”  It is a bit unnerving to be quite honest because I want control of the engagement…but it is a control I cannot have because I do not speak the language to have the right dialogue.  If I were left to my few Iraqi phrases I know or to pointing to a dictionary like a tourist, I’d be lost and my Iraqi counterparts would probably walk away.  Nothing would get done, and, worse, the frustration level would be so high on both sides that we’d probably both give up.

Jake also reads situations.  He can tell us when someone is upset.  When a situation is tense.  When someone seems to be lying or taking advantage of a situation.  He is our cultural “sensor”—our device to pick up atmospherics that we would otherwise miss during an engagement.  He often gives us backbriefs which take into account the literal words spoken as well as his perception of the context and background in which they were spoken.  Otherwise, we would miss 90% of the conversation—even if we understood the translated words.

I have learned to trust Jake.  He always gets the job done well.  He will gently advise me on the spot if what I am trying to say will make no sense or will offend.  He will ask clarifying questions to get my meaning.

I lost my concentration one day during an engagement because the parallel b/w Jake and the Holy Spirit struck me so clearly. 

The Holy Spirit interprets our words and speaks on our behalf to the King of the Universe in His “language”—with a precision that exacts our requests that we, even if we had the ability of Twain and the full command of all of the words in our human language(s), cannot adequately concoct.  The literal translation for our weakness in the verse above is “infirmities” as though our best efforts are sickly at best.  Vine’s Expository Dictionary defines this Greek word as an effort “indicating [an] inability to produce results.”  In other words, without the Holy Spirit, we are helpless no matter how much we pray.

The Holy Spirit, if we will listen, will bring to mind Scripture and lead us supernaturally—it is His job. (John 16:13)  He does so gently unless we are stubborn (1 Kings 19:9-18).

The Holy Spirit, if we are walking with the Lord, can give us clarity and insights from the perspective of God Himself to situations that are foreign to us.  He can give us discernment that is other-worldly so that we can see what is truly going on in the cosmic struggle of God’s people against our enemy and what our place (our Godly actions and attitude) in the grand battle should be in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.  (1 Cor 2).

Jake, Me, State Dept Lawyer (Josh), Iraqi Border Patrol Lawyer

My Wife’s Bible

8 JAN 10

“People who have a Bible that is falling apart usually have lives that aren’t.”

_____________

Once an uneducated farmer who was famous for knowing his Bible (practically memorized the whole thing) had the Christian group gathered at my parents’ home on the edge of their seats leaning in for a listen as he was about to tell them his secret to knowing God’s Word…as they hushed to get his insights, he simply said, “You gotta read it.”

Trials come and go, but that means they are always coming again in that cycle. Can’t stop them. Our family’s trials have been well read on my wife’s blog. She has a way of telling a story. Of letting you see from her eyes. Of keeping it relevant and succinct. Of getting to the “life lesson” every time.

To be completely honest, this journey with Rhema has not been easy for me. I have chosen to trust the Lord, but that has been a choice, not a feeling. Neally and I have leaned on each other through these times, but often she is the quietly strong one letting me vent and be angry while she just sets her eyes and heart straight ahead, unswervingly.

When I was dating my wife, I studied her. I looked at her through Proverbs 31. No woman ever matches up to that perfect picture of womanhood…but she did in my mind. Neither of us has been perfect in our marriage, but she has fulfilled what I thought she’d be like over and over again. It has been no different through these last 3.5 years. She has steadily walked this path.

When I met her in 1996, she was reading the same Bible she has now. It is worn and tattered. It is marked. It is used. For my part, I’ve taped it up—I would never dare insult her with the purchase of a new one. It is precious to her. It has seen her through many a trial.

Throughout our married time, we have been involved with a military ministry that is very dear to our hearts. We have been asked at times to consider becoming a part of the ministry. I am normally leading, but what they are really asking for, I think, is my wife. Women are just drawn to her in droves for her purity and wisdom. You can just look at her and know she is genuine. That she cares…and knows.

As I am here in Iraq, I have had a lot of time to think. I look back on our time ministering in various places, going through our trials, living life. I have led quite a few Bible studies, discipled men to know God’s Word, been involved with lots of spiritual things. But, I wish I could say that I have the depth that my wife has. I wish I could say that I marinated myself in His Word like she has. Wish I could say that I loved the Lord to the degree that she does. Wish I could say that I sought the fruit of the Spirit like she has. Wish I had given my whole self in mind, body, and spirit like her.

The more torn and tattered her Bible gets, the stronger she gets…and the stronger our family gets. I thank the Lord for my wife…and her lovingly tattered Bible.

Who Is He?

2 JAN 10

Chaplain Mason threw us a curveball at the Christmas Eve service here on FOB Sykes. 

He told the story of his brother dying in Iraq two years ago with the 82nd Airborne Division.  He said it was hard to tell because it came at such a high price.

He said he got the phone call.  It brought him to the ground—big tough guy, right to the ground.  After he got up, he called his DA (Dept of the Army) assignment officer and changed his orders so that he could go to the 82nd Airborne Division and serve where his brother had died.  A few days later he was at his parents’ house and the phone rang.  A voice said, “Do you have time to take a call from the President?”  After a short break in the line, President Bush came on the phone.  He asked to speak to his mother first.  He talked to her for about a 1/2 hour.  Then he talked to his father for quite a while.  Then the President invited his family to the Oval Office when the time was right for them.  He said to just call a number and all the arrangements would be made for them.

 I’ll let Chaplain Mason’s voice take it from here:

“You know what the President never asked us when we showed up at the Oval Office?  He never asked us what we had done to be deserving of a visit to the Oval Office.  He never asked us for a list of our heroic deeds.  He never asked us for our resume of all the things we had done for our country.  He never asked us why he should let us in—why we should be allowed to cross the threshold.    No, he didn’t ask us that because the price for our family to go to the Oval Office had already been paid.  My brother died.  He paid the price—that is why we were there.”

 What a picture of the Gospel.  What a picture of the real meaning of Christmas—Jesus was born to die for us.  Nothing else.  He came to pay the very high price for your eternity.

 I almost think I should stop there, but there’s more…

 I have a friend here, S.  S and I get together often to talk over lots of things—work here in Iraq, politics, family, etc.  But, on Sundays, we talk for about an hour about the Bible.  S is not a Believer, but we meet and he goes to church with me.  He wasn’t there that night, but I saw him later in the mess hall.  I told S Chaplain Mason’s story—and how that so reflects the Gospel and the meaning of Christmas.  Christ had paid for his sins.  S has a lot of genuine, honest questions.  (I love answering honest questions about Jesus.)  S listened to the story and then squirmed as he gauged whether or not he should ask his question—especially on Christmas Eve.  Then he proceeded to ask the most profound question that any human has to contemplate.  He said, “Look around this mess hall.  Lots of people’s sons die.  Many in this mess hall have had children die.  Many of these sons sitting right here will die.  What makes this son so special that we should bow down and worship him?”

 S didn’t know it, but with his characteristic fervor and intellectual integrity challenging me from the edge of his seat to give an answer, he asked the question upon which all eternity rests–”Who is this Jesus dude?  Who is He?”.

 Have you asked yourself the question?  It is the question which, if answered correctly, will start all eternity for you.

Who is He?:   “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” 

John 1:29

Hypocrites

18 DEC 09

“I’ve got enough knowledge—I don’t need another Bible study in Ephesians—I need more obedience.”

COL (Ret) Jack Farris

___________________

I am a lot better at writing than I am at living.

After all, part of living the Christian life is learning to live differently than our nature tells us to.  Learning to obey Christ is not natural—it is a supernatural work of the Lord in our lives.  So, by a technical definition, we are all hypocrites at some level.  We do and practice doing things that we know are right even though at times those actions are not springing from a pure heart.  And, at times we fail because, if we are Believers, our new nature loses and our old nature wins. (Rom 7:14-20)

Billy Graham has said (paraphrase here) that if your excuse for not coming to the Lord is that “the church” is full of hypocrites, you are absolutely right.  And, if you were to find a Body of Believers who you think is perfect and you become a Believer because of that particular church and join the church, the church won’t perfect be anymore—you’ll have messed it all up!

I’m living life here in Iraq with a friend I consider a very close buddy.  I really enjoy spending time with him talking about politics, family, and Biblical things.  He has lots of honest questions about the Lord and many excuses for being an unbeliever.  One of his objections to Christianity is the incongruence he sees in many Christians when compared to his innate knowledge of what a Christian should be like.  What do you say to that?  It’s true, isn’t it?

There is no shortage of things I could list as my failures—my disobedience.  I’d be embarrassed if the Lord opened my chest up for all to see my heart…my true, unedited heart.  I’m still a work in progress until I see Jesus face-to-face.  I’m one who is putting his best foot forward to live for the Lord.  Some things are out of a pure, deeply loving heart for what I know to be righteous.  Other times, out of forced obedience as I practice being like Jesus…hopefully, in the process, becoming like Jesus and not discrediting the Gospel along the way.

So, if you have failures.  If you have a mess of a life.  If you are broken.  If you don’t know where to turn.  If sin consumes you and you want to be free.  If you are looking to be redeemed.  There’s a way.  But it won’t come through trying to be good or better.  It won’t come by getting up and dusting yourself off and trying even harder.  Your being, your existence, who you are will never be good enough to save you from yourself.  You, in and of yourself, are in a hopeless situation.  Face it—you’ve tried and you are a failure at fixing you.  You won’t ever be able to do it.  We’ve all been there.

While I’m not giving up trying to please the Lord, I have come to realize that our broken, painful lives are what they are.  I can’t erase history.  I can’t erase pain I’ve caused myself and others.  I can’t un-do many of my regrets. 

But you know what is gives me a passion for life each day?  You know what keeps me going in peace and joy?  You know why I want to share Jesus with others who are failed people looking for Hope?

The knowledge that “while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son…” (Romans 5:10 NASB)  The word enemy in the Greek denotes, literally, our “hatred” toward our Creator and our Savior—not His position toward us.  While we were hateful sinners spitting in God’s face, He gave His life for us.  What makes us think, since He came to us at our worst, we can or are expected to live perfect lives to earn His grace?

Are you drowning in this life and are still making excuses because of all the hypocrites?  I invite you to join us damaged-by-sin hypocrites as we receive forgiveness, as we accept Jesus’ sacrifice for our sin apart from our merit, as we live lives freed from the eternal penalty of sin, as we strive imperfectly to grow into the knowledge and obedience that is only found in Jesus.

Let me take an old, derisive John Wayne quote and redeem it:  “Life is hard; it is even harder when you are unforgiven.”  Don’t live unforgiven.

___________________

*COL Farris’ quotes fill a few sticky notes on the inside of my Bible.  Some of these sticky notes have been in existence since my days at West Point when COL Farris was a faculty advisor to the Navigators.  My guess is that some of the notes date back to 1995 or so.  He says he doesn’t remember many of the quotes, but I think he’s just being humble.

Why Weep?

27 AUG 09

 I cannot seem to put my finger on it.

 My Great-Grandmother was the first Christian in our family—or at least the one that sparked generations of Christian families with the Russell name.  When the Lord saved her in the 1960’s, she began to live for Jesus and pray for her family.  So simple.  So powerful.  One by one, her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and, if only she could see them now, her great-great-grandchildren quoting Scripture and on their way to knowing Jesus.  How the course of generations of our family was changed.

 I last wept when she died in 2003.

 I guess that is it.  It is grief.  Loss.

 How do I say goodbye to my kids tomorrow?  How do I put Rhema on the bus and watch her ride off to school for the last time?  (Heavenly Father, that hurts so bad to even think about.)  Does she even know what awaits her over the next many months?  Will she think I have abandoned her?  How do I hug Hope goodbye on the porch and have her say, “I love you, Daddy.”?  How do I walk away from that little bundle of flesh and all of her growing, experiencing, learning, creating, laughing, hugging, teasing, smiling?  Will she continue to thrive without me?  Doesn’t she need her Daddy?

 How do I leave my confidant, my buddy, my comfort, my intimate?  How do I leave her to do all of the exhausting work?  Have I done enough to make sure she will be ok?  How do I stay close to her over these next months?

 As I wept today (yes, like a big baby), I could not help to be drawn to Jesus in Gethsemane.  (It sounds trite, but sometimes those stories of Jesus which have become almost like a legend in a Christian society where we hear them so often come to life.)  My trial can’t come close to comparing with Jesus’ anxiety, but it gave me great comfort to know that my Jesus has experienced my small degree of pain through his big degree of pain.  All I could do today to release my pain is say his words, “Lord, not my will, but Yours be done.”

 May Your will be done in and through our family.  Please use us Lord for your purposes.  Make this time be redeemed day-by-day.  May we clutch with all our being what purposes and assignments you offer us during this time.  Give us men and women to lead to You.

 

Psalm 23.  The Lord is my Shepherd.  I shall not want.

Necessary Fellowship

12 Sep 09

 

I don’t need anybody. 

 

We’re fine.

 

We’ll make it.

 

I don’t mind helping others, but I hate to ask for help.

 

Don’t worry about me.

 

We have “church” by ourselves—in our living room.

 

I don’t like “organized religion.”

 

Leave me alone.

________________

 

I’ve heard or said or thought all of those.  At (almost) 34 and enough of life under my belt to have felt some pain, experienced serious difficulties, and fallen on my face more than a few times, I believe those statements to be foolhardy.  But, while they are defiantly audacious, I understand.  I understand a person’s sentiment for autonomy—for if we are helped, then we are accountable.  I understand a person’s sentiment for self-sufficiency—for if we are helped, then we are obligated to help others.  I understand a person’s sentiment for privacy—for if we are helped, then we forfeit the right to publicly judge.

 

I remember having an emotionally charged conversation with a colleague I really like and respect but who had pushed Jesus and fellow Believers away—and who certainly wasn’t involved in any church.  I was and am, almost 11 years later, still so hurt for him.  While my arguments 11 years ago were academic and devoid of experience, I can now fill in my academic knowledge with concrete examples.

 

When the Lord tells us in Hebrews 10:24-25 to “…let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  Let us not give up meeting together…but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching…”, the Creator of our hearts and souls and the Author of the human owner’s manual knew we needed each other.

 

He knew, before He even created the world, that in 2009 and 2010…

 

…our family needed a church family that would rally around us, pray for us, and love us during my deployment to Iraq.

 

…Neally would need a kind, gentle plumber from God’s Family to come replace the main toilet in our house less than a week after I left and give her Christian encouragement.

 

…I needed a big, engulfing bed and a loving, Christian Norbury family on my first of over 400 nights away from my family in order to keep me emotionally sane for the long drive to Fort Stewart, GA.

 

…I needed the Navigator missionaries at Fort Bragg, the Hess’s, who have always shown an undivided interest in and love for my family, to listen to and pray with me on my second night away from home. 

 

…Neally and Hope and Rhema would need several women from church to go with them to the mall, the park, Special Olympics gymnastics, Children’s Church, the pool, doctor’s appointments—most of which would not have even been possible if not for those women who sacrificed their time.

 

…Rhema needed a swim coach and his family from our church to take over where I left off so that if Rhema ever fell into a pool, as many autistic kids do, that she would not drown, as many autistic kids do.

 

…Neally would need Lianna and Alice to love her by coordinating all of the outpouring of help from our church so that she did not get overwhelmed.

 

…our house would need Uncle Joel and Aunt Nay (pronounced “ant naaaaaaay”, as I’ve taught Hope) to come fix tons of little things just 6 days after I left.

 

…Neally would need her dad, the Rev. Dr. Palmer, to come all the way out to the house just a few days after I left to disassemble and reassemble both Rhema and Hope’s beds so that Rhema, with her preferred bed, would go to sleep at night.

 

…I would need Ted and Melissa and their great kids to open their home up to me during Labor Day weekend to keep from getting depressed sitting in a hotel the first (long, holiday) weekend away from home.

 

It’s only been 15 days—can you imagine these past 15 days without our Christian Brothers and Sisters?  Imagine all of those examples, which do not even come close to being an exhaustive listing, gone from this post.  Imagine a blank 15 days in our family’s life.  Imagine 15 days of struggle—with about 400+ more to go.  Imagine the loneliness, the despair, the sheer inability to do all that needed to be done without our Church family.  It leaves me breathless to give this thought.  How my family would be helpless…and I would be completely beside myself.

 

When the Lord says, “don’t give up meeting each other…encourage one another”, He commands us to be a part of the Body for a reason.  He doesn’t need our money.  He doesn’t need us showing up at church to build His self-esteem.  He doesn’t even necessarily need us to praise Him—Jesus said creation would not be able to help but cry out if we didn’t give God praise.  He doesn’t need us at all.  He simply commands us to be a part of a local Body of Believers because He loves us.  He knows we need fellowship.

A Functional Hurt

29 AUG 09

 

I never want to lose my hurt.

 

I’m afraid if I lose my hurt, that I’ll lose my longing for my family.  I’ll lose my tenderness.  I’ll lose my patience I’ve built up over the years with the kids.  I’ll lose my physical affection for them.  Hurting means that I’m still connected to them.

 

But, I do have a job to do.  One that requires all of my focus and energy to stay alive, let alone serve my country well.

 

I woke up this first morning away from my family for a very long number of days (my normally particular self still has not counted the total number of days yet because there are just too many) with the dull pain of knowing my family wakes without me…and will for a very long time to come.  Oh, Lord, it hurts!  That’s all I can say…it hurts.  I asked my friend Phil how he left his kids during his deployment for >12 months and the usual Phil-directness (with a tiny bit of his normal melodrama) was just what I needed to hear—“I don’t have anything to tell you.  It was just the most miserable day of my life.”  Spoken truthfully as always Phil does, it was the most helpful thing anyone said to prepare me for that day and moment.

 

I’m so thankful for Josh and Carrie, friends from West Point and Fort Bragg, who gave me an entire basement with a bed that engulfed me (famous among Norbury guests) to sleep in last night.  I cannot have imagined waking up in the hotel room I had intended on renting.  What a terribly lonely feeling that would have been—a real kick-in-the-teeth jolt making me face the raw reality without any cushion to ease into this transition.  I am so comforted right now.

 

I am asking the Lord to bring to life the Scriptures as I go through this. 

 

I think about Paul’s longing for eternity.  Remember, Paul didn’t live in cushy America.  He lived in constant movement, persecution, debate, strife.  He was jailed, beaten, shipwrecked, ridiculed, confronted—constantly.  So, when he says he longed for it all to end and be with Jesus, there’s power in his sentiment.  I remember my great-grandmother’s last sickness at the end of her 90-some years wanting to “go Home.”  I didn’t understand this at age 28 and wanted her to keep on living for me, but how these last 6 years of life have changed my understanding.  She had seen enough disease, death, hardships, trials, hurts.  After a lifetime of accumulating hurts, it was time to go to Jesus.

 

Paul writes,

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.

Phil 1:21-26 (NIV)

 

As I long for this to be over (I’m only on Day 2 as I write)…

 

I pray that I can see the Purpose that the Lord has for me/us in this.  I pray that I can give myself to the Lord so much through this deployment that He changes my heart, mind, attitude, and countenance back to living for His approval alone.  I pray that I can be used by the Lord.  I pray that He invests in me enough of His Wisdom as I try to give Him all of me that I can become a proclaimer (preacher/teacher) for Him.  I pray that men (hardened, sad, lonely, lost men) will come to know Him through me.  I pray that Iraqis will come to know Him through me.  I pray that Neally and the girls will be a light shining from our community and www.rhemashope.wordpress.com into the dark places they are able to minister to because of this deployment.  I pray that our church family, which has overwhelmed us with love and generosity, is grown in maturity and a desire for service through this.  I pray that our new pastor is established in the church as his heart’s desire for outreach is met with people’s obvious and overflowing thirst to serve Jesus and others in the community.  I pray that the Lord does more than we can think or imagine as we go through this trial.

 

I guess, in short, I pray that it is all worth the hurt that I hope never goes away.